So I bought my fiancé her "within reason" dream car yesterday, a pepper white Clubman. She thought this would be a good time to learn how to drive stick, so we pulled the trigger and she is now learning on her new car.
Today, with very little parking lot she drove the car about 10 miles to my brothers. She actually did pretty well, and only stalled once. The drive home however, was a different story! She was turning left across a two lane road and stalled in the middle of the lanes. Needless to say the ensuing pressure made the 30-45 seconds to back up seem like hours. She was shaken up, and is pretty discouraged. I told her that she is doing just fine (she is), and that EVERYONE has done that, similar, or worse when learning. Anyone here have a similar story to share, so that I may reassure her she is not alone in her plight?

 

When I was learning manual, I had the hardest time with hills, and still do. I was actually in a pretty hilly town here in AZ called Jerome. I was freaking out about the hills and how the guy behind me kept getting too close. My mom was there with me the entire time, encouraging me. That REALLY helped me get through it. I don't think I have ever stalled in a place like you mentioned, but when I first got the car, I did stall at a light. As I was restarting the car, the person behind me was surpringsly patient. But the guy a couple cars back was honking up a storm! I was so scared and distraught, and not having my husband with me to encourage me made it worse. But I got through it, and now look at me! I feel like a pro after only 4.5 months of driving manual

A LOT of encouragement from my husband, brother, and parents is the best thing, in my opinion. They all know how to drive manual, so they try really hard to make sure I'm doing it right. I STILL look for comments from my husband when I'm driving

Encouragement is the best thing (for me), and it may just be the thing for your fiance. She'll get it. If I dd, then she definitely can! :D

 

Thanks for the encouragement, and the compliments on the car in first gear. She read your post and is encouraged. In fact, she just created an account and will be on here as r55girl. She'll post a few pics of herself with the car as you did in the beautiful girls thread. Thanks again.

-Marc

 

Hey anytime Glad I could help!

 

20 years experience driving sticks in 7 different countries in all kinds of conditions.

Bought an 05 Cooper with manual this weekend. First time I had driven a stick in over 10 years.

Pulled off the interstate and applied the brakes at the end if the ramp. Completely forgot I was driving a car with a clutch pedal. Scared the hell out if my son. With the car choking and bucking like crazy.

Other than that. Just like riding a bike... came right back to me.

 

I think all of you know how the Sport button needs to be manually pushed on every time you start the engine (unless you're modded for it). This was the cause of major embarrassment for me a couple years back when I was getting used to the MINI. At a red light turned green, with a decent uphill gradient, I stalled. OK, fine, clutch in, push Start button, get on with it. I guess my muscle memory was used to launches with the Sport button because I stalled again. And one more time. I was so frustrated I put my hazards on and two cars behind me went around me (luckily they were patient). I took a deep breath, turned the MINI over for a third time, and looked down at the unlit Sport button. Arrgh, pushed the Sport button, and overcompensated on the gas so much I think I was at 3K RPM by the time I dumped the clutch

That said, one bit of advice I would have is to make sure that you're either pressing the Sport button as a habit whenever you turn the engine over (it is easier to get going with the Sport button on, so that might be a good aid with launches) or leave the Sport button off while you're still learning/starting out.

Another thing, at the end of the day, I don't think anyone around me on the road really cared that I stalled so badly (this may be different where you live, but we often don't give drivers around us enough credit for actually being considerate. We're all caught up in road rage and bad drivers so much that we forget that most motorists are reasonable human beings). In your future wife's case, no one got hurt, and at the end of the day everyone drove away safely from the incident. No harm, no foul. Forget about what happened and move on. And that's that.

Congrats on the new Clubbie, btw, I just switched from the hardtop and could not be happier!

 

I was once making a left turn at a light less than a week after I got my MCS. The day I drove it home was only the second time I've ever driven stick, so I was still getting used to launching without slipping the clutch or stalling. Anyway, as I was preparing to make a left turn at the light, there was a van in the opposite lane of traffic also making a left turn and partially blocking my view of oncoming cars. I waited for what seemed to be a large enough gap for me to comfortably make my turn and as I took off, I just noticed another large van barreling down the road towards me as my car began to stall. Somehow, I had the presence of mind to push the clutch in before it completely stalled and sorta lurched out of the way as the van sped past. Once I got home, I shakily got out of the car and was afraid to drive for a few days.

That was about 4 months ago. Since then, I've done my fair share of stalls and accidental burnouts, especially with the AC on (it saps so much power!), but now I drive nearly as smooth as butter and I definitely don't regret my decision to drive stick. It was daunting at first (especially since I have to take the capital beltway to work ), but I know I would not have enjoyed my Mini as much as I have if it had been automatic. Maybe you should take your fiance out on a few short road trips on more scenic roads with lighter traffic to help her feel more comfortable while driving. It's very challenging and seems impossible, but it only gets better with practice. Keep calm and motor on!

 

Driven stick over 30 yrs here. Had my (justa)COOPER abouit 2 months and occasionally stall it. It's a bit different than my other standard cars. My last bunch of cars I would be able to let the clutch out slowly, even in 2nd gear with no throttle at all, and still not stall it (vw diesel) but these ones seem to need "a bit of gas and easy on the clutch" to make it work smoothly.
Canadian car and no SPORT button. Makes it a titch tougher.

Tell her to keep a stiff upper lip. It'll come.

Also, the built in "hill assist" will help her for ~2 seconds on any inclines.

 

My mom handed me the keys of our 1979 Toyota station wagon when I was 16 in the parking lot of a Home Depot and told me to go get the car. 38 mins later and 100 yards I made it. Both my folks were truck drivers and I grew up spending summers in an 18 wheeler, so I understood the why, but not the how. I could see her smile as I stalled it like 20 times. Cars going around me and so on. As an adult she told me that she was warning people as they came out of the store and invited a few to go and honk at me. (yes she was a good mom, just had a way with life lessons).

Tell her once she learns and gets good (and she will in short order) she will love it.

 

Please, take it from someone who has been married for over 40 years, and has done thousands of hours of marriage counciling, have someone else teach your fiancé how to drive the stick. She won't be as nervous and it will keep your blood pressure in check. Seriously, even if you have to pay someone!

You actually may want to consider checking out some professional driving schools in your area. Figure it this way, the cost will be much less than a new clutch.

 

By all means, encouragement is a fine thing.

And compliment her on not having a "bucking bronco" so far.

I taught my ex on our Fiat 124 Spider, and its clutch engagement was a bit tricky, like our MINIs can be, but coupled with somewhat softer suspension than we have. There was a combination of too-fast clutch takeup, which then caused a lurch, which brought her foot off the throttle for a moment; then the slowdown lurch made her foot goose the throttle for another jump, etc etc. It made for quite a cycle of 15 foot "hops" across the lot till I got her attention enough to "push in the clutch!" and brake to a halt.

I've had a newcomer do that in my Miata since, it's unsettling for sure.

If she's not had this thrill, then she's already got a nice feel for clutch engagement and is well on her way!

 

After each learning occasion, I think it helps to put the student in the passenger seat and take them for a short drive, no talking - the purpose of this is to give the student time to better absorb what they have learned in the last lesson and observe correct technique. Driving a stick well is a muscle-memory, sensory thing and there are limits to what one can learn from verbal instructions alone. The passenger seat time is a non-verbal thing. And associates the sonic experience with the tactile and visual - compliments the high-pressure part of the learning experience with a low pressure lesson.

 

Excellent advice. I was a real $&@hole Saturday night, but kept my self in check yesterday. I'm looking into driving school now.

I did the 2 day Skip Barber E30 M3 school at Limerock when I was 18, and not only was it a blast, I really learned how to DRIVE.

Great comments and stories, keep em coming!

 

The wife has been in the same boat for the past month. She hadn't driven stick since high school and never made it out of the dealer parking lot during the test drive. Undetered she drove to work (20 minutes on surface streets) and stalled 6 times. I think she's stalling once every other trip at this point and her confidence level is growing.

edit: She drove for lunch and stalled leaving the office.

 

I fully agree with the advice on having someone else teach her. My wife learned from a car dealer friend after we had been married for a few years. She was much more relaxed.

When I first learned (about ten years earlier) I called a driving school and purchased one lesson (in my recently-purchased manual car). I had been driving for about five or six years, but the instructor gave me some helpful tips pertaining to some bad habits I had developed since getting my license. It was money well spent.

 

Excellent advice.

 

The best advice to give anyone on how to drive stick it keep calm. Do not be a distraction by getting frustrated. When my dad handed me the keys to our C10 deluxe 3 on the three I felt as if my heart was going to explode of frustration and embarrassment.
A couple days driving around deserted neighborhoods and parking lot is good. It is also a good idea to avoid traffic for the first month or so.

 

I learned to drive a manual car when I moved to England. Had to learn as the driving test over there are more difficult then in America. Took two months of lessons. I would stall out on roundabouts and hills. It was embarrassing but having a driving instructor helped. And people over there are more patient and forgiving to learner drivers.

 

I think I may have had one of the worst first experiences when I bought my mini. It was a used '05 justa, standard. Bought it from a wholesaler who bought it from Whitby Honda (Ontario, Canada - Just outside Toronto). I picked it up and had to drive it to Markham (20 km away) this was my first time driving stick since the test drive, which was ok.

I got it to Markham without stalling (it was all highway), until I pulled into my parking spot and forgot the clutch and stalled. But no worries, just got out calmly and locked the car like I meant to do that. Then drove it home to Scarborough later that night (15 km), stalled once.

Next day drove to work in Richmond Hill (25km) only stalled once. Then at lunch is when I thought my brain broke or something. Took the car out for lunch just cus I was excited to drive and had a few errands to knock out. Stalled 5 times in the span of 3 blocks and heavy traffic.

Pulled over, and turned off the car for a quick breather and to compose myself. Started the car and pulled out and all was good. 3 blocks later I'm waiting to make a left - let off the clutch, car starts to stumble, clutch back in, clutch out, more gas, car lurches and stalls right in the middle of 2 lanes of traffic and they're not slowing down. I turn the key floor it and drop the clutch, car peels out of the intersection and into safety just in time.

Getting back to work the car stalls too many times to count. Once at a green light and I stalled enough times that the light turned red. after it turned green I drove through no problem. After work I had to drive to Markham again, it was getting dark and I was still stalling repeatedly. But this time it was dark enough that the HUGE speedo gauge caught my eye and I noticed the temp gauge was maxed out and red. pulled into a gas station popped the hood, located the coolant reservoir, which was empty, and it all clicked in.

The idiots at Honda had flushed the coolant system, but didn't bleed it out properly so there wasn't enough coolant and the car was overheating. The thermostat was stalling the car on purpose to save itself from melting. I went in and had no option but to go in and buy a gallon of overpriced coolant ($16) and a $3 bottle of water and fill up my coolant. Drive a bit, fill it again, drive some more and fill it again.

So there - it could always be worse.

 

I bought an 08 MCS manual first time I had EVER drove a manual was when I test drove it but it just seemed natural to get it as a manual. My mom wouldn't let me drive alone the first couples days I stalled out SO MANY TIMES. Then finally said I can do this. Drove to work stalled out and hung up traffic through a whole light cycle I felt SOOOO BAD. I also was not that great at backing up at first and backed into my parents car =( not much damage done to either car. But I for sure had my share so oh crap moments learning to drive it and still do =( every day I learn more about it. However once you get it MAN IS IT FUN TO DRIVE =D HAPPY MOTORING AND CONGRATS ON THE NEW MINI=D

 

Hey there! I am the one who this thread is about. Thanks for all the helpful advice and stories! I think I've become more confident knowing everyone else has gone through what I'm going through now as a newbie. I hope to have mastered driving a stick in the next two weeks or so. My dad has offered to help me practice as well, so all the pressure is not put solely on my fiance. I just have to stay confident, and tell myself that it takes time to get used to. I'll be sure to share any upcoming experiences and stories!

 

Bought my 04 Spec V brand new with little to no training on how to drive a manual. Well the day I bought and took delivery I went to back out of the parking spot that they parked the car. First problem was that(I still to this day do not do this unless I park on a hill) the dealer left it in gear. Well didn't know and pulled the clutch out after starting it and almost ran it into a wall. After which I restarted it and then tried backing out and and almost backed into an employee who was speeding through the parking lot. Totally freaked out I left the car just as it was and told my salesman to move the car to the street so that I could leave. Well I managed to get the car to the base and after showing my ID I didn't give it enough gas and just barely got into gear but, dealt with the bucking of the car and the cussing of the guards. I have more embarrassing stories like MTTS 2010 forgetting that it was in gear every time I parked and stalled the car.

 

I hear ya! I don't put my car in gear either. My husband swears by it, but when I learned manual, I just grew accustomed to putting the car in neutral then turning it off. The main reason being that I can be very forgetful and take my foot off the clutch after starting. Then it jumps and stalls, scaring the crap out of me. Still does...lol

 

I learned to drive a manual at the age of 15 1/2 (before I even had my real license) in a 1965 Ford Falcon Ranchero with a built bracket racing 5.0 and a racing clutch. I stalled more times than I can count...the clutch pedal was basically just an on/off switch with merely a fraction of an inch's worth of friction zone. Eventually, I mastered it and have NEVER had a problem with stalling any other car (except when I was moving my brother's Honda and put it into 6th instead of reverse, woops).

On the subject of hill starts, at first they can be intimidating, but you do have options. For instance, if you're afraid of rolling back, use the handbrake to hold your car in place until you've reached the friction zone on the clutch and begin to set off.

I've taught quite a few people how to drive a manual, and for me, it is not hard to be comforting and to make an attempt to calm a frustrated learner, because I know how frustrating it can be...given the vehicle I learned on and the fact that I was being taught by my father who is possibly the least patient person of the face of the earth. I find that it helps to tell the learner not to try to gradually and continuously slide the clutch out, but to find the friction zone, keep the left foot steady and then slowly release the clutch the rest of the way out once they are moving. In my experience, even when learners are trying to keep the foot steady, they still are letting the pedal out, but are unaware they are doing this. It took me weeks to realize I was doing that when I was a learner.

At this point in my life refuse to drive a car unless it has a clutch pedal...it just takes away from the driving experience and makes me feel disconnected with a car if it doesn't have a proper manual transmission.

 

I agree. I haven't driven a stick shift for ten years and I've been having some trouble getting used to the Mini friction/release point. It's a bit high and near the end and I found myself letting it go too soon without enough gas. Oh well.

Marc, she'll get it. It's all about time and effort and practice makes perfect.