I've searched over and over but haven't figured it out.

If I went ahead and put in a Sparco Steering wheel, I would lose the airbag, which I don't care about. This is the first car I've had that had one. I'd lose the cruise control, which I've used maybe twice in the last 3 years. But I would lose the radio controls too. I moved my head unit into the glove box and exclusively use the wheel controls. I've looked at the set up, and I cant figure out a way of moving the controls elsewhere. I saw someone do it with the cruise control, so there must be a way. This DOES NOT have to look wonderful. Can someone with better electrical understanding give me any ideas? I really want the different wheel, and it all hinges on this.

 

The radio controls send IBUS messages to the radio.
So remove them from the wheel and then plumb then into the facia harness as it goes into the rotary coupler.
You can find the circuits here :-
http://www.mcaw.info/wds/mini/us/r50/index.htm

as for mounting them, glue them onto the dash?

 

Well, so much for that... I think its a little beyond my ability. OEM wheel will remain. Thanks a lot though.

 

Someone has done this - I remember them mounting them to the right of the wheel or something.

 

all the steering wheel controls are is a remote. it just plugs into the reviever (im assuming this at least from my work with aftermarket radios in our boat and other cars) all you will have to do is see if an aftermarket remote will work with your head unit, and you can just tick the command module for the head unit anywhere you please and rout the wires.
I don't really know if this works for the stock amp or not, but ive done it several times with sony and pioneer head units.

 

They are not a remote. There is a harness that goes up the steering column that can be relocated and plugged back into the buttons.

Been there, done that.