I know this sounds callous, but I would ditch that woman in a New York minute. Even after you sell the car, she will find some other nit to pick. And, BTW, she has no right to ask you to leave - if she's so dead-set against the car, tell her to pack up her bags and leave.

I know I'll get flamed to death on this, but I'm sick to death of reading about the emasculation of modern day man. I'd put her a$$ down the road and then jump in my car and go for a nice long, hi-speed cruise.

Flame away boys - I really don't care...

 

From the sound of the OP, you may be into a no-win situation. Selling the MINI might be a futile gesture. Find yourself a counselor who is impartial and work out your differences.

 

rlw,

I would say that you are right on; however, as there are 3 very young children involved, Joe has to consider what course of action would be in their best interests. Without kids, I'd say to Joe, "Hit the highway & don't look back", but the children complicate the plot considerably. These types of dramas are seldom simply resolved; counseling is in order, and depending on the magnitude of the issues, a parting of the ways may indeed be the best recourse. As outsiders, we are all entitled to our opinions, ultimately Joe has to find his way through his personal jungle by himself.

 

No flaming, but I do disagree with you and would like to explain why.

If this were just a boyfriend/girlfriend situation, I would agree with you, but as a previous poster pointed out, there are three very young kids involved who need a positive male role model in their lives.

I get sick of hearing women talk about how their children don't need their fathers or men in their lives when that is patently false. I also get sick of hearing men talk about how other men should just dump their families if the family doesn't make him happy, that's just a cop out.

It isn't just about his happiness and hasn't been since the moment his first child was born. An innocent person got drug into the picture and it's not the kids' fault that Mom and Dad are having a rough time. They don't deserve to reap the consequences of that. They deserve better from BOTH of their parents. They deserve to have their parents both act like adults and come to a logical resolution to the situation that impacts the childrens' lives as little as humanly possible. They need their father and their mother in their lives every single day.

I think the OP realizes that and that's why he's trying to fix things. More men and women should be as brave as our OP is and attempt to do the right thing, rather than whatever feels good. The right thing is hard, but in the long run, it's usually best.

 

Reality check...Family first...Material things second.

First Priority is always the needs of your three kids and wife...period.
Your wife gave you three beautiful children...you've been blessed and you don't see that. I feel sorry for you.

If you wanted a MINI, you should've gotten a used MINI as a second car...like a 1st GEN for the daily driver to work.

There are always two sides to a story and we are only hearing your side.

 

Best of luck with whatever decisions you make.

 

I sold my BMW wagon on cars.com. It was easy to use and pretty cheap. You can also include tons of info about your car and lots of pictures, which works a lot better than a two-line ad in the local paper, and it's about the same price. Cars.com also has lots of comparable cars listed, which makes it easier to correctly price your car. I'd use cars.com again.

 

I listed a Honda accord on Craigslist, I was getting calls within 15 minutes, had over 40 calls, the buyer came by that afternoon, next day he brought cash and we were done.

 

1) Regarding the minor issues I had with the car... my dealer fixed the clubdoor and the malfunctioning GPS/VR. ... this is about winning back a wife that I've treated like a doormat for far too long.

2) Fireproof - you guys aren't kidding!!! I watched that with my cousin in law the other night. It was an amazing picture of marriage and it fit what we have been going (and are going) through. By the way... if you want to know where I am in the fireproof process... about 3/4 of the way through the movie, Kurt Cameron is all on board with the process and his wife just isn't feeling it yet. That is where I am... the song there is great.. the chorus says something like "I will worship you Lord, while I wait." Even if my marriage doesn't make it (and I think it will), I will be a "better" person for all of this.

3) Craigslist... sounds like the way to go!!! Thank you for that valuable insight. I am actually pretty far from a major metro area, but I can always list it in Atlanta and driver her up.

4) Dr. Laura... never thought of her as a solid counselor, but hey... I will try anything at the moment. Thanks for the advice.

5) Professional counseling... got an appointment Monday. Great thing is that my wife is on board.


Joe

 

Joe, that's awesome that your wife is on board! I'm sure the road ahead will not be easy, but I'm praying for you guys - weird to hear on a car forum, huh? but I am. Go Joe, go!

 

+1!

 

Dittos!

 

Joe, glad you made that appointment. Hope the therapist/marriage counselor is a good one and that you and your wife will both be able to work together for everyone's best interests - your kids' interests, too. Best wishes for a long term recovery.

 

From an economic standpoint, selling the car is going to hurt. We all know the current situation going on, Im not going to preach...

As for your your marriage situation, I can't say much from experience BUT i do know that we only live once... I completly understand your reasoning for wanting to sell it asap and I cannot say i would do the same BUT getting into a reliable, fun to drive, fuel efficient, very SAFE (thanks BMW), and functional vehicle every day is not much to complain about.

I would suggest you seek professional couples help before you rush off and make a poor economic decision.

good luck