Oil Change Instructions for Women:


1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last
oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.

Money spent:


Oil Change - $21.00
Coffee - FREE
Total - $21.00


Oil Change Instructions for Men
1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
$50.00.
2) Stop by 7-11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive
home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7) Place drain pan under engine.
8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.
Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter
and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping! oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter in trash
can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him.
Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door
opener.
18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan
full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back
yard instead of taking it back to the parts store to recycle.
19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20) Beer? No, drank it all yesterday.
21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. Walk home, open beer.
22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
gasket surface.
23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24) Remember drain plug from step 11.
25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along
with ! drain plug.
27) Drink beer.
28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily dirt
into hole. Steal sand from kids sandbox to cleverly cover oily patch of
ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.
29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty
litter on oil spill.
30) Drink beer.
31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag
used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain
plug and bang knuckles on frame.
32) Bang head on floorboards in reaction to step 31.
33) Begin cussing fit.
34) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
36) Beer.
37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood
flow.
38) Beer.
39) Beer.
40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
41) Beer.
42) Lower car from jack stands.
43) Acc! identally crush remaining case of new motor oil.
44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
steps 23 - 43.
45) Beer.
46) Test drive car.
47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
48) Car gets impounded.
49) Call loving wife, make bail.
50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts - $50.00
DUI - $2500.00
Impound fee - $75.00
Bail - $1500.00
Beer - $40.00
Total! - - $4,165.00

But, you know the job was done right!

 

As our filters are in their own little canister, I would not advise chiseling it off.

However, with the horror stories from Jiffy Lube, that doesn't look like that bad of a price.

 

Still cheaper than Jiffy Lube, I'd advise women to go to the specialty mechanic or the Dealer; Guys well just make sure you get the job done right.

 

Hey all,

I have a dumb question for those of you that have done their own oil change on the MINI. I am planning on changing my oil on saturday. But, my problem is that I can't get to the dealer to pick up an oil filter until saturday morning. It is about a 30 mile round trip to and from the dealer. How long should my MCS sit for before I start draining the old oil? I am going to assume it will be probably an hour or 2. What do you folks think?

 

Drain it as hot as you can. By the time I get it up on jackstands and the oil drained, it should be cool enough in the filter area to get your hand in there. Remember, you'll need a 36mm socket for the filter.

 

I've done this several times, and its a pain in the ***. If you're going to the dealer anyway, let them do it. Take away a man card, but I let the dealer do my oil.

 

I just like getting dirty. It's like the adult way to play in the mud without your wife yelling at you.

 

i have to do mine in a few weeks. got the oil already, need to get the
filter.

 

I hear that, fair enough.

 

i have 2 cars with the oil filer mounted with the opening facing up.
those can get pretty messy if you dont know wat you're doing.
need 2 pans for my legacy.

on my G35C though, the filter is mounted sideways. those are so easy
to do.

 

I was able to get my filter element from Auto Zone.

 

the oil filter? really? do you have a manufacturer name and part number?